Starting off strong
Have you ever been really excited about a big goal, taken lots of action and then sort of forgotten about it over time? Maybe you want to start a business, make a million dollars, lose 30 pounds, or reach some other big goal. You are excited, you start taking action and then…You get distracted, you lose motivation, life gets in the way, lots of stuff happens, but you don’t reach your goal, you even forget about it for some time. Has this ever happened to you? Why does this happen? What is the secret to staying motivated?
Failing to follow through
Have you ever wondered why we often fail to follow through on our goals?We seem to get in the way of our own success. As a coach, this is a question that I deal with continually. People come to me to get a result. I share with them specific actions to get that result. They get excited, take some action, but don’t follow through. Why is it that we often fail to act in our best interests? We say we want something, but we don’t take the necessary action to get it? Why do we struggle with staying motivated? This is the question that has driven me to study the art of coaching. To learn how I can help others to get what they want.
The unmet needs behind our goals
There are many things that get in the way of our goals. One common issue is that your goal may have been unconsciously connected to a deep unmet need. Your goal is based on a need that you haven’t fully expressed. The connection between your goal and this need gets severed and consequently your motivation for that goal vanishes. We all have the same basic needs and we all must finds ways to meet them. As long as reaching that goal is connected to meeting your deepest needs, then you will be highly motivated to reach that goal. That is one of the keys to staying motivated. To understand the needs behind your goals.
The connection between your goals and your needs
If you are not consciously aware of the connection between your goal and your need, then it can be hard to understand where your motivation comes from. This is why it’s to critical to do the work to discern the needs behind your goals. If you are able to meet your needs, even temporarily by some other event or condition, then the connection between that need and your goal will be lost and there goes your motivation. You might think you need 30 pounds to feel worthy of being loved, but then you allow yourself to experience love before that goal is met. Suddenly, losing 30 pounds is no longer essential to experiencing love.
Understanding Your ‘Why’
We often come up with goals without really understanding our motivation. We may have a deep unmet need that we unconsciously connect to a specific goal without realizing it. To figure out the deeper needs, you’ve got to ask yourself ‘why’ you have this goal. You’ve got to dig into your ‘reasons’ and keep digging until you hit the emotional pain. Somewhere deep down we are often experiencing some emotional pain or fear that is unconsciously driving our behavior. In order to meet big goals, you’ve got to have powerful reasons behind them. You have to connect to the deep pain and fears in order to have a powerful enough drive to push you to take action.
You are enough, just as you are
Healing this pain or insecurity can drive you to take action, but it’s important to realize that you don’t need to meet any goals to heal the pain. For instance, whether you want to make a million dollars, lose 30 pounds or win the county chili cook off, deep down you may think that reaching that goal will allow you to feel good enough and worthy of love. Somewhere along the path to reaching your goal, you may allow yourself to experience the feeling of being enough or being loved without reaching your goal. The connection between the goal and the need is weakened or lost and so is your motivation to reach that goal. This is why it’s so important to understand your ‘why’. Why do you REALLY want the things you do?
Meet your needs outside of your accomplishments
It’s critical to realize that you are good enough and worthy of love right now. You don’t need a million dollars, you don’t need to lose 30 pounds, you don’t need a pretty house with a white picket fence, 2 kids and a dog to be good enough and worthy of love. You are enough, just as you are right now. Once you realize this, accept yourself and allow yourself to feel worthy and loved, you can start building a solid foundation to stand from so you can reach your goals. Then you can pursue what you really want from a place of strength, not from a sense of insecurity.
Other Resources
The greatest resource you have is your own ability to deal with whatever comes your way. This ability is at it’s best when you are in a positive state of mind and maintain the belief that you can handle whatever comes your way in life. Finding constructive ways to meet your deepest needs and focusing on gratitude is the best way to do this.
If you are looking to improve the quality of your life, reach your goals, improve your relationships, connect to what really motivates you, check out Jeff Lerner’s video below. He has developed a blueprint for building an online business and creating an awesome life that has been very helpful to me.
